It’s not really part of the Month of Written Devotion, but it is in part because of it, I suppose.
Lon often asks me to explain how my experiences of interaction with the gods actually work in the physical world. Of course, a lot of it is internal, intuitive, and hard to describe, but sometimes there’s a really clear external component, and yesterday was an example of that.
I’ve been super anxious the last few days about all the preparations I need to make to get to MGW, and after spending most of the month focusing on my relationship with my beloved Valley, I suppose I was also getting really anxious about going away for a while.
Yesterday, at lunch with my co-Conspirator, Dee, we were doing a bit of divination on an unrelated topic when the music suddenly got louder and Celine Dion came blasting across the room:
“‘CAUSE I’M YOUR LADY!”
“Wow, that’s… loud… on multiple levels.” I said, blinking. Dee agreed. It took me no time at all to realize Who was singing to me through the speakers. Cantomancy is one of my favorite forms of spontaneous divination, but it’s not often quite this… blatant? Or readily confirmed by the fellow diviner across the table getting the same messages on a less intimate level.
There were four songs out of five in a row that were louder and loaded with messages for me:
“I’m your Lady, and you are My man.
Whenever you reach for Me, I’ll do all that I can!”
Interpretation: “Hi! It’s me, your Lady Clare! I will help however I can if you let Me! Please reach out when you need Me!”
“(Also, a meal at Hobee’s is a meal with me, regardless of who else you bring.)”
“Oh! Huh, okay, that kind of makes sense, actually. I have been eating here all my life, and I do feel more… connected… here. So is cantomancy a Lady-Clare-thing too, then?”
“No, cantomancy is a you-thing. I’m just taking advantage of it!”
(I can’t find the voice we heard, but here’s Loreena McKennit)
“A time for us someday there’ll be
When chains are torn by courage born of a love that’s free
A time when dreams so long denied
Can flourish as we unveil the love we now must hide”
Interpretation: “Yay, you had courage to talk about Me on your public blog! Now we’re not hiding! Look what we get! Thank you!”
“I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens.
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance!”
Interpretation: “You are going away on a trip to have experiences! This is what I want for you! Go! Do!”[Break for 1 song, allowing me to recover from the main message and discuss my experience with Dee.]
“She’s like the wind through my dreams
She rides the night next to me
She leads me to moonlight
only to burn me with the sun
She’s taken my heart, and she doesn’t know what she’s done!”
“Just a fool to believe I have anything She needs…”
Interpretation: “I see this is how you view me. It’s okay. I love you.”
I was hit so hard by I Hope You Dance that I started crying overwhelmed tears of joy. I didn’t even know I was carrying that particular load of anxiety over leaving my Lady until She stepped in to relieve it.
I also didn’t realize how little I expect Her to know me until She’s Like the Wind played, showing She knows quite well how I feel, and knows me extremely well, actually. Today She managed to pull down four songs I already know and had never thought of this way before, use them to remind me that She has known me all my life, and show me that She knows me very, very well, and not only do I not have much ability to hide things from Her, there is no need for me to do so.
I can’t even… I expect this from Freyja, from Freyr, even maybe Odin. Other gods I expect the capacity if not the inclination or personal connection. But this? This I did not expect. I feel arrogant just considering my Lady a goddess instead of a figment of my imagination or a largish landspirit. Maybe the real arrogance is in thinking I know a qualitative difference between a large landspirit and a goddess. Regardless, I am reminded that there really is a reason my ancestors identified local land goddesses all over the place, and They are here whether history identifies Them or not.
In any case, I definitely get to hear my Valley sing!