Discernment 2016 Review: What now?

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is [Divine] purpose that prevails.” – Proverbs 19:21

I had a major discernment process regarding my ministry that started with an email I’d sent to my primary ministry mentor in June 2016. She responded, asking me five questions which I answered in a series of blog posts:

  1. Are you actually Christopagan, “just” pagan, multi-faith with something else, or “just” Christian?
  2. If you do feel you still actually are Christopagan, is Jesus calling you to be a priest for Him (aka have you asked Him yourself, or do you need to have one of us horse (channel) Him so you can ask)?
  3. And if He [Jesus] is calling you to be a priest for Him, do you feel that that calling requires some sort of official human recognition?
  4. Are there any other trads, denominations, or groups that are poking you in the spirituals that maybe you should go and explore before you decide on ordination in the [Progressive Christian Alliance]?
  5. What type of ministry are you being really called to, and do you really need anything other than your Circle of Cerridwen ordination for it?

So, what have I learned from this process?

Well, I’ve learned that I definitely feel called to ministry. The way certain gods and spirits and dæmons call to me (and that’s a whole other blog series in the works) I think confirms that I’m called to something.

I learned that I do indeed feel that I am a Christo-Pagan, and not simply a Pagan, and that I consider the United Church of Christ (UCC) to be my Christian home. I had been toying with the idea of ordination with the Progressive Christian Alliance (PCA) because unlike the UCC, the PCA doesn’t require a Master of Divinity (MDiv) for ordination. But the more I think about this, I feel like I’m going about this the wrong way. Not because I was trying to fast-track my ordination by choosing an ordaining body that would ordain me sooner, but because I want to be a part of the UCC. And while I could have dual standing with both the PCA and UCC, there’s something that doesn’t quite feel right about that.

But also, the more I delve into the world of Christianity the more I feel that while I certainly am Christian laity that maybe I shouldn’t be Christian clergy. In spite of being involved in Christianity since my birth, I’m always finding new things about it. And a lot of what I’m finding lately disturbs me. So much of modern Christianity seems utterly disconnected from the what appears to be the message of Christ as recorded in the Gospels, both canon and gnostic. This seemed to happen a lot in an online discussion group devoted to the Progressive Christian Alliance.

I’ve seen the Golden Rule and the Second half of the Great Commandment applied selectively. One person had even gone so far as to describe treating other with the same respect he wanted to be shown as “onerous.” Respect for Other faith traditions is granted … to an extent. Some members of the group flat-out refused to grant respect to some traditions, even when presented with evidence of the good work those Others have done.

I never wanted to be one of Those Christians who becomes so disillusioned with the faith that I leave it. While I’m not at the point where I feel like I’ll be leaving Christianity entirely, I am at the point where I am renouncing my call to ordained Christian ministry.

This is right and proper. Am I content with “merely” being laity? I’d be lying if I said, “Yes.” I feel envy as I see the social media updates from those whom I used to attend seminary with as they finish their programs and prepare for their public ministries. I want to be with them: studying, working, ministering. But, there are a great many ways to minister.

In my coven, the word “priest” is more than a title. It’s also used as a verb. And can most certainly performing priesting without being Christian clergy.

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Discernment question 5: What type of ministry are you being really called to, and do you really need anything other than your Circle of Cerridwen ordination for it?

Wednesday, 1 February 2017 (in response to this post)

Now, that is the $64,000.00 question.

I think of the ways in which I’ve benefitted from the ministry of others: leading worship, teaching/preaching, spiritual direction, chaplaincy, campus ministry, pastoral care. I feel like I’ve benefitted so much from the various ministers, priests, and witches who’ve done these things for me that I want to turn around and do the same for others.

Of all those ministries, chaplaincy is the one I’m currently least qualified for. I know that takes special training, and that’s usually above and beyond a Master of Divinity (MDiv). That said, I did serve as the chaplain for an adult spirituality retreat in Summer 2015. From what I understand, the same thing about special training could be said for spiritual direction, though I’ve heard varying opinions on this.

Clergy spouse/partner/family support is a ministry that seems to have a need. While I’m no longer a clergy spouse, I was for a time. So, that’s one type of (Christian) ministry I feel called to.

I know that I’d also like to do something to foster better inter-faith cooperation, specifically between Paganism and Christianity. I know I’m only one of many who want this work to happen, and there are certainly others who are probably much more qualified for this ministry than I.

It’s February 2017. And it seems like life for marginalized persons is falling apart right now here in the United States. I’m finding calls for emotional and spiritual support, both among those protesting and those living in genuine fear. Holding space and providing the requested spiritual encouragement are things I can do, and people have told me that the visible presence of clergy persons can sometime prevent the escalation of violence at protests, that police are less likely to be heavy-handed (at least while clergy are watching).

But, are these things (clergy spouse support, ministry to the marginalized, protest chaplain) things that I can only do as a Christian minister? No. I could also do those as a Wiccan priest for those Wiccans who might want such things.

So, I don’t know how well I’ve answered this question. Some of these things I feel called to do don’t require Christian ordination, even to do them in a Christian setting. Others, however, might require ordination.

Maybe a better question isn’t so much what am I called to do, but what am I capable of?