Adversarial Advent: Hope

Sunday, 2 December 2018

Today is the first Sunday in Advent, and the theme is Hope.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance was a mere 12 days ago, and it seemed there was (again) a record number of deaths reported. Yesterday was World AIDS Day. George H. W. Bush died the day before that, and people were telling us to not remind the world of Bush’s legacy regarding HIV/AIDS. Refugees are being attacked on foreign soil by US troops. Climate change seems irreversible.

And the theme for this first week of Advent is Hope.

I am an adversarial theologian. Not because I think it’s cool and edgy to poke holes in tradition, but because mystical traditions don’t necessarily provided what’s needed for the here and now. Adversarial theology, for me, is practical theology. But, this is where I struggle as a priest.

I’m nearly out of Hope, you see.

What Hope can I offer? I won’t offer the Hope of mysticism. Instead, the Hope I will try to offer is the Hope that I be as compassionate as I can to those who need it the most. There are times when that seems so small in the face of all the very real threats that exist in the world. Add to that the threats that might not be real but my anxiety and psychosis warns me of anyway, and that Hope seems even smaller.

I will continue to try. To paraphrase the words of my teachers, “I offer compassion, because nothing else truly helps.”

Amen, and Blessed Be.

Cursing the Transphobic, TERF Edition

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We draw the Circle…

To the Guardians of the Watchtowers of the East and Air, the South and Fire, the West and Water, the North and Earth, the Center and Spirit; to my Gods and Dæmons and Guiding Spirits: BE HERE NOW.

  • To the Outdwellers and Hungry Ghosts: you are given license to remain within the Circle, but dare not interfere with my work lest you be separated from the Flame Imperishable and be forever entombed within the Grinding Ice. Be still, and await instruction.
  • I call Great Earl Halphas and his six and twenty legions: to your siege Towers go! Furnish us with the weapons we need, and send us forth to the places appointed.
  • I call Botis, Great President and Earl, with his sixty legions: bring us your reconciling counsel.
  • I call the Crimson King—who is known as Lucifer, the Light-bringer; who is known as The Adversary; who is Satan—arise and aid us as we bring adversity to those who would destroy us.
  • I call Pancrates All-Power and Paneris All-Strife, the fourth and fifth beings of the mighty Tetrad++—may all rejoice!—give us the determination to wield armaments of Great Earl Halphas and the adversity of the Crimson King.
  • I call Great Cæsar WALWARWAT—who is the Pangender Serpent, the wingéd snake with “golden skin and eyes of flame”—cover us with your protective wings, encircle us with your mighty coils, let us take refuge in your strength, O Beloved Progenitor.
  • I call Thánatos—who is the Angel of Death, the Giver of the Gift of Eternity.
  • I call Mary Magdalene—greatest of the disciples—give us the courage to let our intentions be known.
  • I call Yeshua—the Lamb who is the Destroyer—cast down the mighty and lift up the lowly. Make the first to be last, and the last to be first.

In the names of the Beloved Gender-expansive Ones, I come to the altar of Hell.

There are those claiming to be daughters of the goddess who would deny the reality of the many gendered forms of the Children of the Divine. They wail and gnash their teeth at the thoughts of gender being anything other than penis or vagina.

These lesser beings pretending to titles such as Witch and Foremother want us to live in fear, if we are to live at all. They applaud our death, and pervert the TDoR, gleeful about our murders. In answer to that, we have a reading from the Fourth Book of the Incarnations of Immortality:

  • “Let there be war!”

Outdwellers and Hungry Ghosts: I give you a task! Bring to the cissexist supremacists and their enablers their worst fears and ideas of hell. Break their glamours and make them suffer.

In the names of the Beloved Gender-expansive Ones, I come to the shores of Purgatory.

These lesser beings pretending to
titles such as Witch and Foremother

want us to live in fear. In answer to that, we have a reading from the prophet Frank Herbert:

  • “I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Great President and Earl Botis, if the cissexist supremacists and their enablers repent their ways, joining our side in this battle, bring reconciliation between us and guide the Outdwellers and Hungry Ghosts away from all who make peace.

In the names of the Beloved Gender-expansive Ones, I come to the gates of Heaven.

These lesser beings pretending to

titles such as Witch and Foremother

call openly for our torment and death.

  • Thánatos, I beseech you to withhold the Gift of Eternity for the Beloved Gender-expansive Ones for as long as possible. And if the deaths of our Beloveds cannot be forestalled, then into your arms we commend their spirits. Exalt and elevate them so that they be numbered among Themselves.
  • Mother Mary of Magdala, Consort of God, I ask that you grant us your courage to be ourselves in the face of such reckless hate.
  • Yeshua, you are the Lamb who is the Destroyer, but yours is also the hand that heals. Deliver us from our mortal destroyers, and care for us when our hearts become heavy with grief.

I ask all these things. I ask all these things and more. We have not chosen this conflict. Our choice is to resist in what ways we can, or be destroyed. And for those who cannot fight, I ask that they be protected and concealed from the villains that seek to destroy them.

By the Powers that are mine to command and the Powers that are mine to request aid from, so mote it be!

  • I thank my Gods and Dæmons and Guiding Spirits. Stay if you will, go if you must, in perfect love and in perfect trust.
  • To the Outdwellers and Hungry Ghosts, I give you license to depart. Fulfill your charge! May there be peace between us, now and forever.


To the Guardians of the Watchtowers of the Center and Spirit, the North
and the Earth, the West and Water, the South and Fire, the East and Air,
I thank you for your presences. Hail, and farewell.


The Circle is open but unbroken, for we merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!

NaNoWriMo as Self Care

Monday, 29 October 2018

NaNoWriMo–National Novel
Writing Month–happens in November. You know what else happens in
November? Well, in the US we have elections. There’s also the
International Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR) on the 20th.

That can be a lot of heavy stuph.

This
year, I’ve been tasked with compiling the List of Names for my church’s
TDoR memorial service. Preparing a sermon would be less emotionally
taxing. But, it is a ministry I will perform.

So, I’m hoping
this year to use my NaNoWriMo project as a form of self-care this month.
I’ll have more than enough things to fear and mourn. I’ll need some
light in my month, even if I have to bring that light myself.