Punk Prayers

Denying the Event Horizon

[image courtesy http://holofractal.net/the-holofractographic-universe/]

Suicide has gravity. This gravity feels stronger when it’s the death of somebody in one of my communities. I find myself orbiting at the edge of the gravity well, and part of me feels a desire to go beyond the event horizon.

But, I can’t let that happen. I cannot let myself descend into suicide’s singularity. And not only because of how the event horizon I would make would send out shockwaves among my beloveds. But also because my life has worth for me, myself, and I.

Antinoüs the Navigator, I know I must eventually climb up the walls of the world cross through the Gate. Guide me from rash decisions here in the moment.

Melek Ta’us, the tears of your mourning once quenched the fires of hell. Mourn with me, and weep for our Beloved Dead.

YHVH, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—the Lover, the Beloved, and the Love Overflowing—into your arms welcome the spirits of the Dead, giving them the comfort they were denied here on this earth.

Emma of the Good Heart, I miss you and I will hold your memory until the end of days. Peace be with you.

Denying the Event Horizon

[image courtesy http://holofractal.net/the-holofractographic-universe/]

Suicide has gravity. This gravity feels stronger when it’s the death of somebody in one of my communities. I find myself orbiting at the edge of the gravity well, and part of me feels a desire to go beyond the event horizon.

But, I can’t let that happen. I cannot let myself descend into suicide’s singularity. And not only because of how the event horizon I would make would send out shockwaves among my beloveds. But also because my life has worth for me, myself, and I.

Antinoüs the Navigator, I know I must eventually climb up the walls of the world cross through the Gate. Guide me from rash decisions here in the moment.

Melek Ta’us, the tears of your mourning once quenched the fires of hell. Mourn with me, and weep for our Beloved Dead.

YHVH, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—the Lover, the Beloved, and the Love Overflowing—into your arms welcome the spirits of the Dead, giving them the comfort they were denied here on this earth.

Emma of the Good Heart, I miss you and I will hold your memory until the end of days. Peace be with you.

International Women’s Day

cronepunk:

I’ve been trying to think of how to phrase this to  avoid upsetting anyone. But, I can’t figure how, so here goes.

I want to extend my undying gratitude to everyone who included transgender women in their
International Women’s Day posts.

Being a transgender woman myself, I’ve found I have to be very careful how I participate in anything remotely feminist. I know who my allies are, and I’m still here because of you.

May your lives be filled with love and joy!

Thank you.

International Women’s Day

cronepunk:

I’ve been trying to think of how to phrase this to  avoid upsetting anyone. But, I can’t figure how, so here goes.

I want to extend my undying gratitude to everyone who included transgender women in their
International Women’s Day posts.

Being a transgender woman myself, I’ve found I have to be very careful how I participate in anything remotely feminist. I know who my allies are, and I’m still here because of you.

May your lives be filled with love and joy!

Thank you.

PantheaCon 2018

Monday, 19 February 2018

With the close of PantheaCon earlier today, this concludes the third somewhat major retreat-like event I’ve attended since 31 January. I have a lot to process, and will be processing all of it for some time, I think.

I really like it when PantheaCon and Lent overlap. And this year at a workshop for self-care, I heard another Christian-Pagan talk about a Lenten practice of self-care rather than self-denial.

I learn something new every year, and I am blessed and privileged to do so.

PantheaCon 2018

Monday, 19 February 2018

With the close of PantheaCon earlier today, this concludes the third somewhat major retreat-like event I’ve attended since 31 January. I have a lot to process, and will be processing all of it for some time, I think.

I really like it when PantheaCon and Lent overlap. And this year at a workshop for self-care, I heard another Christian-Pagan talk about a Lenten practice of self-care rather than self-denial.

I learn something new every year, and I am blessed and privileged to do so.

The Heretic’s Rosary

My primary rosary is an Episcopal one, arranged in weeks instead of decades, given to me by my beloved friend and mentor, Rev. Gina Pond. This is how I pray it.

For the Sign of the Cross…

In the name of Mary,
and of Joseph,
and of their beloved son Jesus,
amen.

For the first large bead…

Our God, who is within us, hallowed be your Names,
Your community come, your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us today the blessings we need,
and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Don’t put us to the test, and protect us from harm.
For yours are the community, the love, and the beauty
now and forever,
amen.

For the next large bead…

Glory be to Mary, and to Joseph, and to Jesus,
as they were, are now, and ever shall be
the Holy Family forever,
amen.

For each small bead…

Hail Mary (Magdalene), full of strength, God is with you.
Blesséd are you among disciples,
and blesséd are the fruits of your study with Jesus.
Holy Mary, Consort of God, pray for us learners
now and as we discern our ministries,
amen.

The Heretic’s Rosary

My primary rosary is an Episcopal one, arranged in weeks instead of decades, given to me by my beloved friend and mentor, Rev. Gina Pond. This is how I pray it.

For the Sign of the Cross…

In the name of Mary,
and of Joseph,
and of their beloved son Jesus,
amen.

For the first large bead…

Our God, who is within us, hallowed be your Names,
Your community come, your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us today the blessings we need,
and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Don’t put us to the test, and protect us from harm.
For yours are the community, the love, and the beauty
now and forever,
amen.

For the next large bead…

Glory be to Mary, and to Joseph, and to Jesus,
as they were, are now, and ever shall be
the Holy Family forever,
amen.

For each small bead…

Hail Mary (Magdalene), full of strength, God is with you.
Blesséd are you among disciples,
and blesséd are the fruits of your study with Jesus.
Holy Mary, Consort of God, pray for us learners
now and as we discern our ministries,
amen.

2018: Jubilee Year in the Names of Saints Echo and Narcissus

The
year two thousand seventeen of the Common Era was a very difficult
one for me, even as it was a year of healing and introspection.
Various aspects of my health are in decline, including my mental
health. Yet, starting medication for my mental illnesses and taking a
depression management class have helped greatly.

What
does this have to do with Echo and Narcissus and why do I call them
Saints? Various reasons.

Part
of Echo’s story was that she was yet another mortal woman seduced by Zeus. Some translations
use the word “ravished” which in modern times is often equated with “rape.” When Hera came to question Echo,
the mortal told the goddess long stories to distract from from her
pursuit of Zeus. Echo was covering Zeus’ escape, it seemed. Hera
cursed Echo so that she could only speak the last few words she heard
another speak. This was how Narcissus was caught staring at his own
reflection. She’d fallen in love with him and wanted to speak to
him, but was only able to repeat some of his words back to him. As a
result, he was tricked into falling in love with himself.

So,
in this tale we have a randy, powerful being seducing someone who really
didn’t have the power to say no. And unforgiving wife struck out at
the target she could reach and as a result ruined at least two lives.

In
Echo, I see those who are used sexually and don’t report for fear
of backlash, yet backlash struck her anyway. In Narcissus, I see
those who have learning disabilities, mental illnesses, or some
combination of both, and who can be very literal in their understanding of language.
They can be led, by accident or by design, to self-destruction or
wasting away.

In
modern times, people use the phrase “echo chamber” to deride
those who are unwilling to the voices that speak out against them.
Sometimes, this phrase is used to shame the marginalized for creating
safe spaces. The word “narcissistic” is often wrongly used to
describe persons whose self-esteem has grown to the point where they
aren’t willing to take the abuse that’s so casually given to
them.

I
say, we should build our echo chambers! We should surround ourselves with those who
don’t speak ill of us. We know those other voices are there. We
can’t escape them. But in creating our echo chambers, we can give
ourselves a certain measure of peace from those who hate us.

I
say, we should fall in love with ourselves! We should fill our minds with thoughts of
self-worth, because we know there is no shortage of those who hate
us. If our self-worth causes them to be angry, then perhaps it’s
not us who are medically narcissistic.

Hail
Echo, patron saint of the used, frightened, and misunderstood!

Hail
Narcissus, patron saint of learning disabilities and mental
illnesses!

Amen,
and Blessed be!

2018: Jubilee Year in the Name of Saints Echo and Narcissus

The
year two thousand seventeen of the Common Era was a very difficult
one for me, even as it was a year of healing and introspection.
Various aspects of my health are in decline, including my mental
health. Yet, starting medication for my mental illnesses and taking a
depression management class have helped greatly.

What
does this have to do with Echo and Narcissus and why do I call them
Saints? Various reasons.

Part
of Echo’s story was that she was yet another mortal woman seduced by Zeus. Some translations
use the word “ravished” which in modern times is often equated with “rape.” When Hera came to question Echo,
the mortal told the goddess long stories to distract from from her
pursuit of Zeus. Echo was covering Zeus’ escape, it seemed. Hera
cursed Echo so that she could only speak the last few words she heard
another speak. This was how Narcissus was caught staring at his own
reflection. She’d fallen in love with him and wanted to speak to
him, but was only able to repeat some of his words back to him. As a
result, he was tricked into falling in love with himself.

So,
in this tale we have a randy, powerful being seducing someone who really
didn’t have the power to say no. And unforgiving wife struck out at
the target she could reach and as a result ruined at least two lives.

In
Echo, I see those who are used sexually and don’t report for fear
of backlash, yet backlash struck her anyway. In Narcissus, I see
those who have learning disabilities, mental illnesses, or some
combination of both, and who can be very literal in their understanding of language.
They can be led, by accident or by design, to self-destruction or
wasting away.

In
modern times, people use the phrase “echo chamber” to deride
those who are unwilling to the voices that speak out against them.
Sometimes, this phrase is used to shame the marginalized for creating
safe spaces. The word “narcissistic” is often wrongly used to
describe persons whose self-esteem has grown to the point where they
aren’t willing to take the abuse that’s so casually given to
them.

I
say, we should build our echo chambers! We should surround ourselves with those who
don’t speak ill of us. We know those other voices are there. We
can’t escape them. But in creating our echo chambers, we can give
ourselves a certain measure of peace from those who hate us.

I
say, we should fall in love with ourselves! We should fill our minds with thoughts of
self-worth, because we know there is no shortage of those who hate
us. If our self-worth causes them to be angry, then perhaps it’s
not us who are medically narcissistic.

Hail
Echo, patron saint of the used, frightened, and misunderstood!

Hail
Narcissus, patron saint of learning disabilities and mental
illnesses!

Amen,
and Blessed be!